Hi,
I’ve known that I have aphantasia for a few years now, but just learned about SDAM yesterday and am fairly sure I have that too. I usually like how my mind works but sometimes it’s really lonely. It’s cool that there’s a website like this. If anyone wants to say hi, please do.
/Ari
1st person vs, 3rd person view
I've been scanning through my memory 'still photos' (for the most part, I lack episodic videos), and I've noticed that almost every memory is in the third person / 'floating camera' view. The exceptions are moments that are very unique, thrilling, or terrifying.
I found a suicide jumper under a bridge on the way to work one day. This memory is in 1st person. The memories are 'still captures' though, no video.
I was nearly in a horrific car accident. We hit black ice on the on ramp, spun around 180 degrees, and hit the median. I recall seeing thru my own eyes as we approached the barrier.
As a high school kid, I walked across a metal pipe balance beam in a local park. The drop was about 15 - 20 feet down to stone. I have a 'still image' of the pipe…
Vocabulary.
I have approximately 9 years of post high school education, and can read with comprehension at a fairly high level. However, my daily vocabulary is not that broad. It's difficult for me to recall unfamiliar words on the fly. When I listen to podcasters, I'm always surprised by their verbal depth and breadth.
Is this your experience as well?
I do feel like I have a pretty broad vocabulary base, but I do relate to your difficulty to remember words on the fly. Way too often I have the right word on the tip of my tongue, but just can't remember it. I know this isn't specific to SDAM, but I feel like it happens to me way more than to most people. I'm often searching up synonyms on google and in thesauruses to get what I want to say out right.
I just learned about SDAM three days ago. It explains so much!
How come I can't remember who my groomsmen were, or the birth of my daughter? And yet, I can remember the births of my sons (not really; I remember seeing photos that I took at the time).
Why am I content to be a furniture salesman with no future aspirations?
My dad died July 3 during the COVID shutdown of 2020. But I almost forgot it this year, and am sure that I forgot it last year (maybe?).
I don't remember walking the stage at my high school or college graduations, and NEVER even realized this lack of memory until I started trying to remember things this week.
I've never been able to remember names. And my return customers from two days ago are usually unrecognizable until a coworker whispers, They were here last week.
I always love having the same foods too, definitely relate to that aspect of having SDAM. I wonder if there's a point where our actual taste buds might get used to the same foods, or if it's just a neurological pheonomia that SDAM lets us avoid.
I'm wondering about the relationship of SDAM to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator. I'm an INFP. Always have been.
INFP's are known for their living in the present. It's peaceful not being dragged down by past regrets or personal losses, or frustrated by Siren visions of the future. I just live today.
Also, in the same vein, I'm an Enneagram 9 with a 1 wing.
Anybody else out there an INFP?
Anybody else have a twin?
My twin brother (both 56ys) acts as my memory storage unit. He apparently doesn't have SDAM. He has all the childhood memories.
Also, can we invent a new acronym? On a scale of 1-10, with ten being severely deficient autobiographical memory, I feel like I'm a 9. Perhaps I am just Extremely Deficient, not quite severely deficient?
It might help researchers to clarify this idea better: "Visual imagery - While remembering the event, I can see it in my mind."
I can, for example, see my wife quite clearly at our wedding rehearsal 23 years ago. However, this is because I am recalling the several photographs that I've seen of that day. I do not have many personal episodic memories or reliving memories of that day (a few maybe).
I could not recall the fellas who were my groomsmen, for example. I never really studied those photographs, and I was surprised when my wife told me who they were.
That's definitely interesting, I wonder how photographs in general play a role with our lack of episodic memory. I've seen a couple people talk about how having journals have helped them, and that many of us take pictures often to help remember, I guess this might help trigger something in our memory that isn't blocked by SDAM.
Hey! What’s happening with all of you? Any interesting experiences you have to share?
My emotions are pretty full, but my connections to others (the lack of common memories) is where it shows up for me.
The worst part seems to be that I don’t even know what I don’t know. I was watching a movie, and my wife made the comment that we had seen that movie at a drive-in theater. In 1 million years, I would’ve never guessed that we had seen that movie at a drive-in theater.
We were discussing our wedding in relation to my empty memories, and I was able to guess two of my groomsmen. And I disagree with her about other ones. Turns out that I had six groomsmen, but I only remembered two for sure… and those I knew had to be there (my brother, for example)